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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Today’s fresh food like vegetables or fruits travels thousands of miles from the rural areas or farms before it reaches customers in cities or urban areas. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend? Write at least250 words.

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It is said that nowadays
crops
 like vegetables and fruits are
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 a long distance from countries to purchasers in towns or cities. The reason is that all fresh
food
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 collected from different areas. I think
this
 is a negative development because fresh
food
 might lose its quality and affect the environment. The cause of a long distance travelling fresh
food
 is that people take
time
 to collect their
crops
.
This
 is because they not only grow them in a rural
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 but
also
 in many different areas, so
farmers
 have to go to each farmland and gather their
crops
.
Therefore
, they might spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
time
 before reaching their consumers. I feel that it may affect the quality of
crops
 if
farmers
 have to spend more
time
 on transport. The nature of fresh vegetables and fruits can be good within a limited
time
.
For instance
, strawberry is a sensitive fruit and requires much effort. If
farmers
 were careless about
this
 problem, it could destroy before arriving customers.
In addition
, it can affect the environment along the way.
Farmers
 might use cars or other means of transport, so the carbon released from those transports can lead to air pollution. It is not only bad for our breath but
also
 pollutes the air. In conclusion, the reason for
this
 trend is that
farmers
 need to travel from one place to another for harvesting and transporting their
crops
. I believe
this
 is a negative development as that
food
 might lose its quality and nutrients, and it can lead to air pollution.
Submitted by sedfrtgt on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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