some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the environmental
crisis
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a larger and more serious topic.
This
crisis
could eventually lead to massive and irreversible damage to our planet. Some
people
believe that the country should help protect our
environment
,
while
others say that each person should be responsible for it. In my view, it takes a combination of both ideas in
order
to achieve a healthy and clean
environment
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and explain my opinion.
Firstly
, some
people
believe that the
government
should take responsibility since
this
issue is a global
crisis
.
This
problem will not be treated by a small number of
people
, it takes every single country in the world to unite and together form legislation in favour of preserving the
environment
.
For example
, a few months ago Israel created a rule that
uprises
Verb problem
increases
show examples
the prices of plastic products in
order
to downward the purchase of single-use products.
Consequently
, the purchase of plastic products in Israel rapidly
inclined
Verb problem
increased
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the
government
could help by educating its' citizens about climate change. Once countries from all around the world
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decide to raise awareness of the situation of our planet, it will affect the way
people
see our
environment
and how we should take care of it.
While
it is true that
government
should take action
of improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
the
environment
, I tend to concede with the statement that it is only the state's responsibility.
This
problem calls for a shared effort of every single person to change their behaviour towards the planet in
order
to help the next generation live in a better, healthier place.
For example
, donate their old items,
such
as clothes and toys so that different kinds of industries could lower their production. Another example is to have recycle bins in each person's home or pick up trash from the street. In conclusion, I think that in
order
to address the environmental
crisis
, it takes the
government
and each individual to take responsibility, in
order
to make the world a healthier place
Submitted by mayab2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses both views and clearly presents your own opinion. Provide specific examples and more in-depth analysis to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, there is a clear logical structure to the essay. Use more cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: