The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feactures

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feactures
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The process diagram illustrated the various stages in processing dairy products and their varieties.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
process involves 2 main steps which are the farming and the factory steps and
also
Linking Words
8 stages are involved in the production of the
milk
Use synonyms
. The 1st step which is the farming process begin with the rearing of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
the healthy
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cow which are allowed to graze on grass
in
Change preposition
on
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the farm to increase their
milk
Use synonyms
production,
then
Linking Words
the
milk
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machine is been put into place to extract
milk
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from the healthy cows. The
milk
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extracted from the healthy cows is stored in a storage refrigerator which helps to maintain a cool temperature before the vehicle (tanker) conveys the
milk
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to the processing unit where the
milk
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is been separated into various varieties. From the processing unit, the
milk
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is separated into
milk
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products which are been pasteurized, packaged and distributed to the supermarket and some are been made into butter, cheese and cream
also
Linking Words
packaged and distributed to the supermarket. ,
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
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all ends with the consumers.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words milk with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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