Some people prefer living in an apartment while others believe living in a house brings more advantages. Which, out of the two, is better?

Nowadays, there are two types of

people

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who prefer residing in an

apartment

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or in a house and

this

Linking Words

is a debatable topic. In my opinion, dwelling in a studio has more advantages than in a house.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives and introduce an opinion.

To begin

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with,

people

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can save money by

purchaing

Correct your spelling

purchasing

the

Correct article usage

show examples

apartment

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. It is generally accepted that the flat, in which lives many residents, is cheaper than a house. There are plenty of

people

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who are suffering from economic issues

such

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as low monthly fees and a bank dept.

However

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, it is possible for these

people

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to purchase the

apartment

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. Indeed, especially in South Korea, the government occasionally limits the price of an

apartment

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Due to

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this

Linking Words

policy, citizens can buy their houses at affordable prices. The other reason why

people

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prefer apartments is that

people

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who live in the

apartment

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can make social

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with other residents. In

comtempoary

Correct your spelling

contemporary

society, social bonding is an essential part of

people

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's lives. In

addtion

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addition

people

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are organically connecting with other

people

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. The characteristics of the

apartment

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could help to build

this

Linking Words

connection. First of all, the size of the flat is immense

however

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, the rooms for each individual are small.

Moreover

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people

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inevitably meet each other in public areas

such

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as a playground and community halls. These properties make

people

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bond together. In, conclusion, a few

people

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choose to live in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

apartment

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because there are merits

such

Linking Words

as an affordable price and social bonding with others. I think

this

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trend may continue for 2 decades or more.

benheo5936

Feb 23, 2024

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Task Achievement

Be sure to directly address the question prompt in your thesis statement. Clearly state which side you support and why. You mentioned that living in an apartment has more advantages but elaborating on why it's better compared to living in a house is important for strengthening your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by coherent arguments and examples. Transition sentences between paragraphs can also help enhance the flow of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to better express your ideas and arguments. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English fluency.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This not only makes your essay more convincing but also demonstrates your ability to think critically and reason effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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