Some people prefer living in an apartment while others believe living in a house brings more advantages. Which, out of the two, is better?
Nowadays, there are two types of
people
who prefer residing in an apartment
or in a house and this
is a debatable topic. In my opinion, dwelling in a studio has more advantages than in a house. This
essay will discuss both perspectives and introduce an opinion.
To begin
with, people
can save money by purchaing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
the
Correct article usage
an
apartment
. It is generally accepted that the flat, in which lives many residents, is cheaper than a house. There are plenty of people
who are suffering from economic issues such
as low monthly fees and a bank dept. However
, it is possible for these people
to purchase the apartment
. Indeed, especially in South Korea, the government occasionally limits the price of an apartment
. Due to
this
policy, citizens can buy their houses at affordable prices.
The other reason why people
prefer apartments is that people
who live in the apartment
can make social relationship
with other residents. In Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
comtempoary
society, social bonding is an essential part of Correct your spelling
contemporary
people
's lives. In addtion
, Correct your spelling
addition
people
are organically connecting with other people
. The characteristics of the apartment
could help to build this
connection. First of all, the size of the flat is immense however
, the rooms for each individual are small. Moreover
, people
inevitably meet each other in public areas such
as a playground and community halls. These properties make people
bond together.
In, conclusion, a few people
choose to live in the
Correct article usage
an
apartment
because there are merits such
as an affordable price and social bonding with others. I think this
trend may continue for 2 decades or more.Submitted by benheo5936 on
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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address the question prompt in your thesis statement. Clearly state which side you support and why. You mentioned that living in an apartment has more advantages but elaborating on why it's better compared to living in a house is important for strengthening your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by coherent arguments and examples. Transition sentences between paragraphs can also help enhance the flow of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to better express your ideas and arguments. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English fluency.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This not only makes your essay more convincing but also demonstrates your ability to think critically and reason effectively.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...