Some people prefer living in an apartment while others believe living in a house brings more advantages. Which, out of the two, is better?

Nowadays, there are two types of
people
who prefer residing in an
apartment
or in a house and
this
is a debatable topic. In my opinion, dwelling in a studio has more advantages than in a house.
This
essay will discuss both perspectives and introduce an opinion.
To begin
with,
people
can save money by
purchaing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
apartment
. It is generally accepted that the flat, in which lives many residents, is cheaper than a house. There are plenty of
people
who are suffering from economic issues
such
as low monthly fees and a bank dept.
However
, it is possible for these
people
to purchase the
apartment
. Indeed, especially in South Korea, the government occasionally limits the price of an
apartment
.
Due to
this
policy, citizens can buy their houses at affordable prices. The other reason why
people
prefer apartments is that
people
who live in the
apartment
can make social
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
with other residents. In
comtempoary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
society, social bonding is an essential part of
people
's lives. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
,
people
are organically connecting with other
people
. The characteristics of the
apartment
could help to build
this
connection. First of all, the size of the flat is immense
however
, the rooms for each individual are small.
Moreover
,
people
inevitably meet each other in public areas
such
as a playground and community halls. These properties make
people
bond together. In, conclusion, a few
people
choose to live in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
apartment
because there are merits
such
as an affordable price and social bonding with others. I think
this
trend may continue for 2 decades or more.
Submitted by benheo5936 on

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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address the question prompt in your thesis statement. Clearly state which side you support and why. You mentioned that living in an apartment has more advantages but elaborating on why it's better compared to living in a house is important for strengthening your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by coherent arguments and examples. Transition sentences between paragraphs can also help enhance the flow of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to better express your ideas and arguments. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English fluency.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This not only makes your essay more convincing but also demonstrates your ability to think critically and reason effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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