Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think weath is the best measure of sucess? What makes a successfull person?

#success #wealth #belongings #weath #measure #sucess #successfull #person

There is no doubt that the reunion of wealth and material belongings is widely used as a defining factor to measure

success

in someone’s life. In

this

essay, I will discuss why I disagree with

this

assumption, and explain what is really relevant to demonstrate

success

Firstly

, there is not a single method to calculate how successful a

person

can be, which should always change from one to another.

This

is because the result of measuring it will always vary

according to

personal goals and achievements.

For example

, an extremely wealthy

person

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

inherits all his fortune has not done anything to achieve

this

socially privileged position, leading to the result that, in

this

case, material belongings should not indicate how successful

this

person

is.

Therefore

, wealth would only be a defining factor for those who planned to work hard and managed to successfully increase their earnings. Having said that, what certainly makes the difference regarding

this

topic is how much effort and dedication someone can put into daily activities when pursuing their personal goals.

This

occurs because individual achievements are the best method to calculate

success

, once it says too much about determination.

For instance

, when a student who does not have enough savings to cover university expenses is awarded a full scholarship, it is obvious that

this

person

achieved a successful accomplishment.

Consequently

, pushing yourself to conquer your dreams and being persistent should be the key factors to make a successful

person

To sum up

it is clear that

fortune and material belongings can be irrelevant in terms of

success

scale, which should always be based on people’s accomplishments in accordance with their personal objectives in life.

Submitted by fredpolfernandes on Tue May 23 2023

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task response

For the task response, the essay provides a clear and comprehensive discussion of the topic. The arguments are well-presented and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more impactful and aligned with the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, the logical structure of the essay is generally good, with well-organized ideas and clear transitions between paragraphs. However, the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened to better connect with the body of the essay, enhancing overall cohesion.

lexical resource

The lexical resource is extensive, demonstrating a wide range of vocabulary and a good command of academic language. This contributes to the clarity and precision of the arguments presented. However, some repetition of vocabulary and phrases could be avoided to further enhance lexical variety.

grammatical range

The grammatical range is strong, with a variety of complex structures and accurate use of tenses and sentence patterns. Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical proficiency. However, attention to minor errors in agreement and consistency can further elevate the grammatical range.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

multifaceted
personal fulfillment
gauging
criteria
financial stability
professional development
accomplishments
exert
legacy
striving
welfare

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think weath is the best measure of sucess? What makes a successfull person?

Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aid is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Reported 2017, Academic Test)

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gym and sports club, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in so doing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.