Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think weath is the best measure of sucess? What makes a successfull person?

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There is no doubt that the reunion of wealth and material belongings is widely used as a defining factor to measure
success
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in someone’s life. In
this
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essay, I will discuss why I disagree with
this
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assumption, and explain what is really relevant to demonstrate
success
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.
Firstly
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, there is not a single method to calculate how successful a
person
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can be, which should always change from one to another.
This
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is because the result of measuring it will always vary
according to
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personal goals and achievements.
For example
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, an extremely wealthy
person
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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inherits all his fortune has not done anything to achieve
this
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socially privileged position, leading to the result that, in
this
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case, material belongings should not indicate how successful
this
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person
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is.
Therefore
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, wealth would only be a defining factor for those who planned to work hard and managed to successfully increase their earnings. Having said that, what certainly makes the difference regarding
this
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topic is how much effort and dedication someone can put into daily activities when pursuing their personal goals.
This
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occurs because individual achievements are the best method to calculate
success
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, once it says too much about determination.
For instance
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, when a student who does not have enough savings to cover university expenses is awarded a full scholarship, it is obvious that
this
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person
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achieved a successful accomplishment.
Consequently
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, pushing yourself to conquer your dreams and being persistent should be the key factors to make a successful
person
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.
To sum up
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,
it is clear that
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fortune and material belongings can be irrelevant in terms of
success
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scale, which should always be based on people’s accomplishments in accordance with their personal objectives in life.
Submitted by fredpolfernandes on

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task response
For the task response, the essay provides a clear and comprehensive discussion of the topic. The arguments are well-presented and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more impactful and aligned with the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the logical structure of the essay is generally good, with well-organized ideas and clear transitions between paragraphs. However, the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened to better connect with the body of the essay, enhancing overall cohesion.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is extensive, demonstrating a wide range of vocabulary and a good command of academic language. This contributes to the clarity and precision of the arguments presented. However, some repetition of vocabulary and phrases could be avoided to further enhance lexical variety.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is strong, with a variety of complex structures and accurate use of tenses and sentence patterns. Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical proficiency. However, attention to minor errors in agreement and consistency can further elevate the grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multifaceted
  • personal fulfillment
  • gauging
  • criteria
  • financial stability
  • professional development
  • accomplishments
  • exert
  • legacy
  • striving
  • welfare
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