IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The growing
consumption
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 of fast
food
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 has led to rising health problems,
such
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 as obesity and heart disease, in many countries. Some people believe that increasing
taxes
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 on fast
food
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 is an effective way to address
this
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 issue.
While
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 I agree that taxing fast
food
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 can help reduce its
consumption
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, it should be combined with other measures to ensure long-term results. One key reason to support higher
taxes
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 on fast
food
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 is that it can discourage excessive
consumption
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. Fast
food
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 is often cheap and convenient, which makes it a popular choice for many people.
However
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, increasing its price through taxation may encourage individuals to choose healthier options.
For instance
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, in countries where
taxes
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 have been introduced on sugary drinks, studies have shown a significant decline in their
consumption
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.
Similarly
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, taxing fast
food
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 could help reduce its appeal, promoting healthier dietary habits.
On the other hand
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, relying solely on
taxes
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 may not solve the problem entirely. Higher prices might negatively affect low-income families who rely on fast
food
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 as an affordable option.
Instead
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, governments should focus on educating the public about healthy eating.
For example
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, launching awareness campaigns or providing free nutrition programs in schools could teach people the importance of balanced diets.
Furthermore
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, subsidies on fruits, vegetables, and other nutritious foods could make healthier options more affordable and accessible. In conclusion,
while
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 I believe that taxing fast
food
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 is a good step towards reducing its
consumption
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, it is not a complete solution. Governments must combine taxation with public education and subsidies for healthy
food
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 to tackle the root causes of fast
food
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-related health issues effectively.

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Task Achievement
While the essay provides a balanced argument with logical reasoning, it can be enhanced by adding more specific examples and statistical data to strengthen the claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by adding more transition phrases between arguments to create smoother flow of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay successfully introduces the topic and presents a clear position, followed by a well-rounded conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect related to the topic and providing relevant supporting details.
Task Achievement
The essay maintains focus on the task throughout, effectively addressing the question by discussing both the benefits and limitations of imposing taxes on fast food.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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