Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Is believed by some linguistic experts that acquiring a
second
tongue at primary schools
instead
of in secondary schools may be more beneficial to juveniles. I am convinced that the advantages of
this
restructuring far outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
, studying a
second
dialect has numerous potential benefits for children including immensely increased brain functionality and the ability to communicate with other language users at a young soul. It has been proven by many experts that critical thinking is more common among children who speak two or more
languages
, which is an important skill that will guide them in their later lives.
Additionally
, minors who are bilingual or multilingual are able to interact with others whether they are of the same dialect or not.
This
will exacerbate their chance of being fluent in different
languages
they acquire owing to their young nature and the chance to learn from others.
On the other hand
, it may be overwhelming for juveniles if they were to get exposed to two or more
languages
at once
while
they are considered young.
This
can result in them not being able to absorb sufficient information to be able to talk fluently in their own
languages
, leading to them having difficulties embracing their own language and culture once they get older. Many young students who were exposed to foreign
languages
since they were around the age of 5-8,
for instance
, are the ones most affected by
this
.
However
, considering the advantages,
this
is relatively trivial. In conclusion,
while
there may be a few disadvantages regarding attaining a
second
tongue quite early, the benefits far outweigh them. Possessing a
second
language is definitely crucial for our future generation to thrive in
this
internationalized era.
Submitted by pyaekyitharchaw884 on

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Task Response
Your introduction doesn't clearly address the question. Make sure to clearly state your opinion and outline the main points you will cover in the essay. Additionally, provide a thesis statement that directly responds to the task question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has overall good coherence and cohesion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Make sure to provide a clear introduction that introduces the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. The conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final thought on the topic.
Lexical Resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of sentence structures. However, be mindful of word choice and ensure that the vocabulary is appropriate for the context. Additionally, work on using more advanced and specific vocabulary to further enhance the lexical resource of your essay.
Grammatical Range
Your essay shows good control of grammar and a variety of sentence structures. However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. Review your essay for sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and accuracy in your language use.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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