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Band 6.5

In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment? write at least 250 words.

#business #emphasise #products #devlopment
Some brands underline that their
products
 are new, they show it in their advertising. I see
that is
 important for them so they can sell a satisfying number of
products
, but I don'
t
 really think it is positive. Nowadays, it is not that hard to open new businesses, and it is crowded in many branches. Everyone wants to earn money, and I understand that money is important to survive, but some big companies are starting to be too greedy. Usually, brands magnify how the new product is going to be groundbreaking,
while
 in reality, it is similar to the other or previous brands'
products
. Look at Apple; every year they make a whole show when they realize another iPhone, iPad, etc. And for three years, their
products
 were pretty much the same, in the newest
iPhone's
Change noun form
iPhone
show examples
 version, they added only a button for photos and better quality. They just want more money. I don'
t
 see
this
 development as positive. Today's times are hard, the consumerism is crazy, and the environment is even worse. We don'
t
 need more
products
 and more litter; it is leading society and the world nowhere. You go on and look at TikTok's hauls to see how many new groundbreaking
products
 they are getting every week, month, and season, that they don'
t
 really need, but they saw advertisements about a new product, so they bought it. Nowadays, it is so bad in every generation that some people are starting to wake up and declutter their spaces from groundbreaking
products
 that they purchased not that long ago.
To conclude
, I think
this
 trend to emphasize that
products
 are new in some way should end, so it doesn'
t
 bring anything positive.
Submitted by weronika07022 on

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task achievement
To enhance your task response, consider providing additional examples and reasoning to further support your main points. This will add more weight to your argument and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by connecting your ideas more fluidly. Use linking words and phrases to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, but reiterating them with a stronger final statement can leave a more lasting impression.
task achievement
You clearly presented your opinion on the topic and gave relevant examples such as the Apple iPhone. This demonstrates a practical understanding of the issue and enhances the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, and the conclusion suitably wraps up your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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