You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #government #retirees #support #care #people #citizens #money

There is no doubt that the elderly required care and financial aid in order to have a good life.

However

, the question is, from where elderly can get

this

support?

This

topic caused intense controversy in the society. In

this

essay, I am going to discuss both views and draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand,

people

agree that

this

is the responsibility of the government to provide

necessaries

Replace the word

necessities

show examples

to all ages in the country.

As well as

governments are providing education and building school and sports facilities for

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

population, the right has to be given to retirees to ensure their needs.

In addition

, an adequate amount of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

capital expenditures should be accounted

for

Change preposition

for for

show examples

elderly benefits. For instant, it was found in one research paper, that 74% of diseases are affecting

people

51 years and older.

Moreover

, if they were a driver or any kind of low-paid job, how they can save money

while

they could barely find food?

On the other hand

, the elderly will not live for a long time, on average for 21 years only. Since the future is built by young men and women, country investment should be mainly in young

people

rather than older

people

because they would not benefit the economy. Hospital operating costs and treatments are expensive and becoming challenging to provide for everyone. In conclusion, retirees are in high need of funds and care. In my opinion, the government should plan carefully to provide welfare and the necessities for the elderly and other age groups.

Submitted by hayfa.alkhalifa1 on Wed May 24 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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