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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others belive thet children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #belive #adults
There are some debates in the education sector to choose whether competition or
cooperate
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cooperative
show examples
 teaching which will be more important to be educated to children.
While
 some people believe that teaching competitiveness is more essential, others argue that training cooperation is better. There are arguments
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both sides,
however
, which we will discuss here. On the one hand, the proponents of
this
 view say that
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 being
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 a competitive character would have a fighter spirit which can be helpful to make them survive in every condition in their future. When things happen unexpectedly, they will try to overcome the problems
due to
 their inclination to win something challenging.
In addition
, with the soul of competitiveness, they will tend to pursue better performance which can increase their
skill
 when they live in the workplace. They will
also
 never satisfy with what they get.
On the other hand
, the opponents of
this
 view believe that today collaboration and cooperation become more important than competitive personality. They said that nowadays, various fields are trying to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 collaborative management in the
workplaces
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workplace
show examples
 because it is believed as the main determinant of the best result in many organisations. It can be said that we are able to
success
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succeed
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 in our
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
 when we have
this
skill
.
Moreover
, by
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
, we can be more sustainable in our work and can survive because we did not do
competition
Replace the word
compete
show examples
 with our workmates.
Instead
, we can work together
achieving
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to achieve
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 collective goals with our
coulleagues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
. In conclusion, it seems to me that, though competition-empowered
skill
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skills
show examples
 will have some benefits
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 youngsters,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 the benefits of having teamwork
skill
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skills
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 would appear to be a better alternative to
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 our younger generations as it provides an ability to survive
as well as
 improve their better result in their future workplace.
Submitted by rams212 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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