Some people believe that it’s important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both views

#people #it’s #money #celebration #waste

In some circumstances, celebrating an event is require a huge amount of money.

Although

it is allowed to celebrate a paramount day, it is

Change the article

apply

show examples

unwise to

held

Change the form of the verb

hold

show examples

a big party for every event.

This

essay will discuss why only

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

glamour parties are acceptable. It is commonly believed that

people

should

held

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hold

show examples

fancy parties as the

ocassions

Correct your spelling

occasions

only happen once in a

life time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

This

because

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is because

show examples

the host party want to share happy moments

Change preposition

with

show examples

their

suroundings

Correct your spelling

surroundings

Furthermore

, several cultures across the world believed that they should provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

huge parties

such

as the wedding and the funeral.

For instance

, Batak is one of the cultures in Indonesia,

this

culture has

obligation

Correct article usage

an obligation

show examples

to create a fancy party

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show examples

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation

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generation's

show examples

funeral, the older person who died, the more fancy it is.

As a result

, Batak

people

are well known as the rich

people

On the other hand

, nowadays young

people

are intent to create a simple celebration limited

for

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show examples

only their beloved ones. It is because the host

want

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wants

show examples

to enjoy the moment without strangers and it could save a lot of money.

For example

the

Correct article usage

show examples

private wedding

commonly

Add a missing verb

is commonly

show examples

attended by fifty

until

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show examples

a-hundred guests and all of them are the friends and the families of the bride.

Consequently

, the bride

are

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show examples

more thrilled enjoying every single moment without concerning strangers' opinions and financial issues. In conclusion, society could

held

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hold

show examples

an intimate event with their close friends and families in terms to save

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money. Meanwhile, in order to respect the cultures,

people

can create a glamour one as long as

their

Replace the word

they're

they are

show examples

happy with that. The most paramount thing in

this

phenomenon is either the hosts or the guests are able to enjoy and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

celebrate with a grateful heart.

Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on Thu May 25 2023

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it’s important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both views

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the government should provide free education at every level. However, some say that individuals should pay for their university education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.