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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it’s important to spend a lot of money on family celebration while others think it’s a waste of money. Discuss both views

#people #it’s #money #celebration #waste
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In some circumstances, celebrating an event is require a huge amount of money.
Although
Linking Words
 it is allowed to celebrate a paramount day, it is
an
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apply
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unwise to
held
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hold
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 a big party for every event.
This
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 essay will discuss why only
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 glamour parties are acceptable. It is commonly believed that
people
Use synonyms
 should
held
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hold
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 fancy parties as the
ocassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
 only happen once in a
life time
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lifetime
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.
This
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because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 the host party want to share happy moments
to
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with
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 their
suroundings
Correct your spelling
surroundings
.
Furthermore
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, several cultures across the world believed that they should provide
the
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apply
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huge parties
such
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 as the wedding and the funeral.
For instance
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, Batak is one of the cultures in Indonesia,
this
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 culture has
obligation
Correct article usage
an obligation
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 to create a fancy party
in
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at
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older
Correct article usage
the older
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generation
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generation's
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 funeral, the older person who died, the more fancy it is.
As a result
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, Batak
people
Use synonyms
 are well known as the rich
people
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.
On the other hand
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, nowadays young
people
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 are intent to create a simple celebration limited
for
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to
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 only their beloved ones. It is because the host
want
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wants
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 to enjoy the moment without strangers and it could save a lot of money.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 private wedding
commonly
Add a missing verb
is commonly
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 attended by fifty
until
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to
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 a-hundred guests and all of them are the friends and the families of the bride.
Consequently
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, the bride
are
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is
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 more thrilled enjoying every single moment without concerning strangers' opinions and financial issues. In conclusion, society could
held
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hold
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 an intimate event with their close friends and families in terms to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money. Meanwhile, in order to respect the cultures,
people
Use synonyms
 can create a glamour one as long as
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
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 happy with that. The most paramount thing in
this
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 phenomenon is either the hosts or the guests are able to enjoy and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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celebrate with a grateful heart.
Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on

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