In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, in many countries and some cultures, working outside the house is a tabu for women and they believe
mothers
should only take care of children
and the household. Most of these beliefs came from developing countries and third-world nations. However
, it is totally usual for a woman to work in developed countries.
Taking care of children
is an important role for parents and they should manage it properly. Working full-time might be a barrier for some parents and they might come up with a lack of time. Apart from that, in most cases, mothers
are better in case of looking after children
. On the other hand
, caring too much might lead to spoiling children
. So, there should be a balance.
Usually, mothers
want to do their best and do not miss a point in the process of nurturing when their child is an infant or a toddler. Hence
, they should dedicate a good amount of their time to spending with their child. We can not decide whether it is a positive or negative development in a general sense. But, staying at home could improve society in the long term because children
who have been well nurtured will increase the level of self-confidence in the future society and in this
circumstance, they will address many problems in their country.
All in all, balancing is the key point for being able to manage these two important factors. Besides
that, the capacity of mothers
to handle these pressures is another factor. Visiting a good psychologist may help with mental pressures. But for the physical one, they should lower their activities immediately.Submitted by aneizehbaz on
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task achievement
Provide a clearer and more specific thesis statement in the introduction to clearly address the reasons and whether it's a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Use more concrete examples to support your points, which would make your arguments more persuasive. For instance, mention specific cases or studies where children benefited from parental care or where it might have been too overprotective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow. Linking phrases can help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Elaborate more on your conclusion by reinforcing the key points discussed in the body paragraphs and clearly summarizing your stance on whether it's a positive or negative development.
task achievement
The essay recognizes the cultural differences in attitudes towards women working and child-rearing, which adds depth to the discussion.
task achievement
The conclusion mentions the importance of balancing work and child-rearing, highlighting a nuanced understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion and provides closure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.