Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that all teenagers should be obligated in their free time to work to help the local community without being paid. They strongly think that
this
Linking Words
would have a positive impact on both the teenager and the entire society. I totally support
this
Linking Words
opinion because of its supportive aspect.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I follow
this
Linking Words
perception by the fact that young people nowadays easily
ignores
Correct subject-verb agreement
ignore
show examples
local aid. The
youngests
Correct your spelling
youngest
youngsters
are glued to their phones and
forgot
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
that society needs them. They practice extracurricular activities and study but they should have more commitment
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
our world by investing some time in these common tasks. It would be enriching for the population and for them individually.
For example
Linking Words
, when I was a
children
Change the noun form
child
show examples
, I never used to think about anything but football but my parents made me help in an association and I learned
there
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many useful values that I still follow today as empathy and team spirit.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the growing needs of our world in
this
Linking Words
actual era
explains
Correct subject-verb agreement
explain
show examples
my firm position about the obligation to assign these tasks to teenagers. Currently, we are in the most critical moment for our survival and
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
work
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to be done. Everybody
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to contribute with what they can and young persons have the greatest energy and capacity to do multiple helps.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friends and I are helping to distribute food in the different neighbourhoods of our city, something that the elderly can no longer do.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
youngests
Correct your spelling
youngsters
should make
Linking Words
this unpaid efforts
Change the determiner
this unpaid effort
these unpaid efforts
show examples
to make their commitment
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the global community grow and to allow our planet to prosper. I strongly support
this
Linking Words
idea that could probably make our society more efficient.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays on topic throughout.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly and effectively.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with more comprehensive explanations; avoid overly simplistic statements.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of sentence structures for greater linguistic complexity and variety.
task achievement
Expanding on given examples with more detail can help to fortify your arguments and make them more convincing.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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