IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed by some individuals that teenagers should do volunteer work when they are free, which could help the residents
while
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also
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 giving them experience. Even if the practice could be useful in many ways for the locals, I totally agree that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks for teenagers.
Firstly
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, forced and unpaid labour does not encourage adolescents to help others. The method would demoralise teens because it does not give credit for their help, since it is unpaid.
Furthermore
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, not every task coincides with one’s interest;
at the end
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, obligatory, unrewarded and unpleasant labour sounds more like exploitation rather than a beneficial experience.
For instance
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, the children who are exploited come out with no self-esteem or aspirations to look up to, like children working in factories in Bangladesh.
Secondly
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, the idea does not favour self-development nor allow any kind of activities and leisure. Adolescence is an age when individuals start to form thoughts and opinions on new things,
such
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 as relationships or occupations.
For example
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, considering that the system was implemented, students aiming to integrate into an art university would be severely penalised. Art requires patience and practice; if both cannot be achieved, even talented and passionate students might be mediocre. GSEU (General Statistics from the EU) proved in a survey conducted in Europe in 2022 that 75% of working students fail in working life.
To conclude
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, I agree that teenagers should not be required to do unrewarded work, because it stops adolescents from fulfilling their desires, and might discourage them from working and flourishing.

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structure
Make a clear plan. Put one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a short intro that says what you think and end with a short conclusion that repeats it.
content
Give proof for your view. Use real facts or plain examples that are easy to check. Do not rely on hard or made up data.
language
Keep sentences short. Use simple words and short lines so the writing is easy to read.
cohesion
Use linking words like but, also, however to show a clear plan and to move ideas from one to another.
task response
Make sure you answer the task and show your own view clearly. Do not soften your stance.
content
Your view is clear: you disagree with the plan.
structure
The essay uses a simple, straight paragraph form and has a note of structure with ordering words.
content
Some good examples are used to explain points.
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