The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#government #retirees #support #care #people #citizens #money

Retirement

is a worry about the future for everyone especially because it is a phase of life where

people

are more fragile, and don’t have physical strength anymore or they simply want to enjoy the rest of their days without the duty of work.

Therefore

different opinion rise among

people

, some consider the

government

has a major responsibility to care for all the retirees financially

whereas

most

people

think that each

one

is responsible for their own

retirement

and so, each individual needs to prepare their financial future in order to support them in their old age.

This

essay proposes to discuss some possible reasons for both opinions and

then

to give an own

one

. Generally,

people

at a young age pay taxes toward governmental

retirement

funds

while

they are still work-active, in order to have a safe

retirement

and receive back some of the invested money when working is not demanding in their life anymore.

Thus

, there are

people

who rely on their financial future in the

government

’s hands and expect to have all their monetary needs satisfied by public organs.

On the other hand

, some

people

have the consciousness that each

one

needs to prepare for their own

retirement

despite the

government

fund, because

this

one

is not enough in amount, so every citizen has to save money before they retire. In Brazil,

for instance

people

who fulfilled all the required working periods and reached a certain age have the right to receive a

pension

however

, is always very insufficient for all livelihoods. I

also

do believe

that is

very risky to rely on all the old-age sustenance on

government

retirement

pension

, as when you get old you don’t have enough working ability anymore and else more have over costs with health and other needs.

This

way, I may conclude that in spite of the

retirement

pension

supplied by the

government

, each citizen must prepare their own

retirement

saving money as complementary to the

pension

low amount.

Submitted by licapark on Thu May 25 2023

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

government responsibility
financial support
care
retirees
personal responsibility
retirement planning
social security
pension
benefits
concerns
dependency
adequate savings
elderly citizens
burden
welfare system
poverty
social safety net
financial stability
public funds
sustainable
reliable
case study
Japan
Sweden
United States

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