Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is true that some people believe the biggest environmental problem is the loss of particular flora and fauna, meanwhile, other people say the most crucial problem is climate change. In
this
, essay I will detail both statements.
To begin
with, this
world contains humans, plants, and animals. People have a tight bonding
and need each other. Nowadays, Replace the word
bond
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
becomes
arrogant and superior to others. They caused many problems, they played an important role in the extinction of flora and fauna. Wrong verb form
have become
For example
, the Dodo bird, they are disappeared from this
planet
because of the greedy human
. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
In addition
, If this
continues to happen, plants and animals will extinct one by one, and in the end our offspring just see them in a museum. Finally
, If they are gone, it will affect our biodiversity.
However
, climate change is a serious issue. As living things, we depend on nature. Every year, we saw
in the news that our Wrong verb form
see
planet
is getting worst
. Correct word choice
worse
This
happened because of the human. Our activities such
as the use of electronic goods, transportation, and factories affect the Earth. For illustrate, the ice in the North and South Poles started to melt, caused by global warming and this
will make the water in the ocean increase and make some countries sink to
the sea. Change preposition
into
As a result
, it will impact the living things, how we live with bad air and a dying planet
.
To conclude
, we as a human have a responsibility to protect our home, we are
not live alone. We need to Verb problem
do
do
some movements to save our Verb problem
make
planet
from the loss of plants and animals. Moreover
, we need a healthy environment to live in, we need fresh air and fresh water so that we need to
save our Verb problem
can
planet
with keep the balance between humans and nature.Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction is somewhat unclear as it lacks a clear thesis statement and does not effectively introduce the main points of the essay. Consider rephrasing and structuring the introduction to clearly outline the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points of the essay lack cohesion and the logical structure is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical structure with smooth transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay does not provide a comprehensive and balanced response to the task. It is important to clearly address both views and offer a well-reasoned opinion, supported by specific examples.