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Writing Samples
Band 7

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children's social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

#children #adults #behaviour #changes #differences #place
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As
children
 grow up and become
adults
, their social
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
changes
 in many ways. These
changes
 often reflect their growing maturity and the responsibilities they take on as they enter adulthood.
While
 most of these
changes
 are positive, some can
also
 have drawbacks. One major difference between
children
 and
adults
 is how they interact with others.
Children
 are usually open, honest, and carefree when making friends. They don’t think much about social status or background and often form connections quickly.
Adults
,
on the other hand
, are more cautious and selective about
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 they spend time with. They may focus on shared values, interests, or professional connections when building relationships.
This
 happens because
adults
 face more responsibilities and have less time for casual friendships. Another difference is in how emotions are expressed.
Children
 tend to show their feelings freely. Whether they’re happy, sad, or angry, they don’t hesitate to let others know.
Adults
,
however
, are more likely to hide or control their emotions, especially in professional or formal settings.
For example
, an adult might suppress frustration at work,
while
 a child might openly cry or complain in a similar situation. Most of these
changes
 are positive.
Adults
 learn to manage conflicts, handle responsibilities, and contribute to society.
However
, some aspects of growing up, like losing the spontaneity and openness of childhood, can make social interactions feel less genuine or joyful. In conclusion, the way people interact socially
changes
 as they grow older. These
changes
 are often necessary and helpful, but it’s important to hold on to some of the openness and honesty that comes so naturally to
children
.
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate the differences in social behavior.
task achievement
Try to explore the potential drawbacks of adult social behavior in more detail to provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly link each paragraph back to the main topic to ensure coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear comparison between children's and adults' social behavior, addressing the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a good framework for the discussion.
coherence cohesion
There is logical progression from one idea to the next, making the essay easy to follow.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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