IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A University should accept male and female students equally in every subject.

#university #students
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that academics should provide
gender
Use synonyms
 equality in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of graduate
students
Use synonyms
 in every
subject
Use synonyms
. I personally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. The essay will first discuss the fact that
students
Use synonyms
 should be accepted based on merit, the
subject
Use synonyms
 they choose to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
, and their academic potential.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, universities must look
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
’
scholar
Replace the word
scholarly
show examples
 achievements and study curriculum to judge their merit for acceptance. If done
otherwise
Linking Words
, many qualified
students
Use synonyms
 would lose opportunities into getting accepted to their chosen courses. It is noteworthy that every student has the potential to learn, grow and become a successful member of society, no matter what their
gender
Use synonyms
 is.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who applied for the
subject
Use synonyms
 their chose
while
Linking Words
 being qualified for it
deserve
Change the verb form
deserves
show examples
 to be accepted. Practicing
gender
Use synonyms
 equality in
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of accepted learners is not equality at all; it is in fact an unfair judgement of college applications.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Students
Use synonyms
 have the right of getting
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
 if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 show a great interest
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that
subject
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, acceptance needs to be determined by
students
Use synonyms
’ potential, as long as they show excellent academic abilities, whether they were
males
Use synonyms
 or
females
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if there were twenty available places for an engineering course, and we got applications of 20 qualified
females
Use synonyms
 and 10 unqualified
males
Use synonyms
, should we be equal and accept half
males
Use synonyms
 and half
females
Use synonyms
?
This
Linking Words
 would be unfair to the other 10 qualified
females
Use synonyms
. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
, accepting equal numbers of
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 in every
subject
Use synonyms
 in universities is an unfair act which can make people lose great opportunities. For the admission process to be fair, tertiary institutions should base their acceptance on merit rather than on
gender
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bhawatr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: