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mohouThe chart below shows the total number of hours per month from to 1980 to 2015 that people in USA used modern technology divided into four catagories.

mohouThe chart below shows the total number of hours per month from to 1980 to 2015 that people in USA used modern technology divided into four catagories.
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The bar graph demonstrates the use of technology in America in four categories from 1980 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
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 the use of radio rate accounted for the most proportion overwhelmingly.
Moreover
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, the rate of people who use a computer was the highest from 2005 to 2015. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that smartphone users were not at all to 0 until 1995, but from 2000 to 2015, there were significant changes in the number of people who utilize smartphones about 50
hours
Use synonyms
 to 350
hours
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2015,which was made up the second rank.
In addition
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, the figure for listening to the radio dominates the average of 350
hours
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 1990.
However
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, it became dropped sharply from about 100
hours
Use synonyms
 to 270
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
Finally
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, computer users maintained about 30
hours
Use synonyms
 between 1980 to 1990, After that 300
hours
Use synonyms
 from 2005.
As a result
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, it showed the first rank 360
hours
Use synonyms
 more than the three groups.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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