IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

While people in developing countires are happier than in the past, people in developed are less happy . Why ? what can be learn from this ?

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Varied opinions have to be put on the table to explain that .
However
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 , some
countries
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 on the way to development make
people
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's
life
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 gonna be better but the opposite in developing
countries
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 do not feel happy with that. From my perspective , will give an explanation for the above lesson.
Firstly
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,
people
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 need to maintain their work-
life
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 balance in which they might prevent being depressed and have plenty of problems relating to their
life
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.
Secondly
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,
besides
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 money,
people
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 should take care of discovering themselves to make their
life
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 more meaningful On the hand, some
countries
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 on their way to development feel happier because they think money can make their activity happier and easier to do something if they gonna be rich in the future.
Moreover
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 , they do not know what happened in the future if their
countries
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 develop too fast and they do not have enough time to do too much work.
However
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 , developing
countries
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 are happier because they think it makes their
life
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 better than before so
people
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 feel satisfied with that.
On the other hand
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 , all of the developed
countries
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 they worried about that because when everything increases they need to pay more for their activity. And inflation will become more
for instance
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 the salaries increase by 2% but you need to pay for the renting house more than $200 a month so no point in that. In a number of
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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 they have passed through a process and some
people
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 feel depressed. In summary , I learnt something about that lesson . If you want to get more benefits means you have to through difficulties.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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