IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Over the past few decades, various kinds of
museums
Use synonyms
 are built in society. Some think that many
museums
Use synonyms
 should pay entry fees, but others assert that it is a drawback to the public. I personally think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. First of all, when individuals can pay the
museums
Use synonyms
 for admission, the
museums
Use synonyms
 are more likely to lose customers.
This
Linking Words
 is because, with the gradual development of information technology,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use their mobile phones to watch movies, craft videos and study in their free time
instead
Linking Words
 of going to someplace in person. In
this
Linking Words
 case, if the public should charge entry fees at
museums
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 would not be interested in those kinds of facilities no longer. Given that the main purpose of
museums
Use synonyms
 is to let all individuals, regardless of income level, enjoy
art
Use synonyms
 and get inspired in their lives,
museums
Use synonyms
 should provide free tickets to the customers.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 would enjoy
art
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 and painting in their daily life at the
museums
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
museums
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 can maintain their building for a long time and improve their service through admission. They usually use the money to develop their systems and educate the public or sometimes they donate funds to poor
people
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.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, when citizens charge to
museums
Use synonyms
,
people
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 can get plenty of information about
art
Use synonyms
 and they can learn a wide range of
art
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. They can improve their creativity and relieve their stress at
museums
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the rapid development of technology has allowed individuals can use their electronic devices in their free time.
This
Linking Words
 trend makes
people
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 tend not to go to
museums
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 or theatres in person. To encourage the public to visit the
museums
Use synonyms
, they should benefit customers with free tickets or discount coupons so that citizens would enjoy
museums
Use synonyms
 in their daily life.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Preservation
  • Exclusionary
  • Revenue
  • Artifact
  • Maintenance
  • Engagement
  • Admission fee
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Sustainable funding
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