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Writing Samples
Band 7

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live
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The pie chart and the table illustrate the percentage of which country people living in Australia come from and the area
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 these people live.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of Australian dwellers were born right in their birthplace.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 is a suitable place for residents of other countries to immigrate
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, the Australian population is 73% in their birthplace.
While
Linking Words
 people in other countries account for about 14%, which is twice as much as the UK. Residents who have home countries in New Zealand, China and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 account for negligible proportions of 3%, 2% and 1%. With the information
that is
Linking Words
 given
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the table, 99% of Australians born in China live in the city, much higher than the figures for those from the Netherlands, the UK, or Australia, at 90%, 89%, and 83% respectively. New Zealand, consume the largest rate of those living in rural areas, at 20%.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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