Some people think that the government should spend money on adult’s population who can’t read and write while other not. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

in the modern era,
education
Use synonyms
plays a significant role in the development of a nation. Some individuals assume that adult
citizens
Use synonyms
, who can not read and write, should be supported by the government's funds, meantime, their counterparts are not. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
perspective because the benefit and the explanation will be discussed thoroughly in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
with, focusing on
education
Use synonyms
for adults empowers them to improve their life conditions and to get more opportunities. The
citizens
Use synonyms
,who are uneducated, cannot work in high levels of employment which require sophisticated skills and experience.
Hence
Linking Words
, teaching them these basic skills will enable them to reach more employment options and
then
Linking Words
increase their life standard. To be more specific, illiterate Indians are underpaid and have extreme living conditions because of their educational background, as it is the only way to survive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the more
literacy
Correct article usage
the literacy
show examples
rate goes up by educating specific groups of uneducated people, the more their nation's reputation is achieved. Another prime benefit of
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
view,
citizens
Use synonyms
who receive a well-rounded
education
Use synonyms
tend to possess a diverse skill set, enabling them to adapt to different job sectors and thereby contribute effectively to national economic development.
For instance
Linking Words
, in countries like Finland, where the
education
Use synonyms
system emphasizes critical thinking, creativity, and practical skills,
citizens
Use synonyms
are more adaptable in the workforce, which significantly contributes to economic growth through innovation and productivity. In conclusion, I strongly agree that schooling these adult individuals benefits not only their personal life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
their national economy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should pump more funds to expand the teaching system.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure all your examples are clear and directly support your main points. Some examples need to connect better to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words to help guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
You have strong main ideas and a clear position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and clearly state your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • spend
  • money
  • adults
  • population
  • read
  • write
  • agree
  • disagree
  • education
  • basic
  • need
  • programs
  • improve
  • job
  • market
  • economy
  • supporting
  • literacy
  • health
  • choices
  • understanding
  • important
  • information
  • daily
  • life
  • investing
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • levels
  • skills
  • opportunities
  • argue
  • funds
  • children
  • future
  • workforce
  • strong
  • foundation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: