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Band 7

Many people are optimistic about the 21st century and expect scientists to make positive changes to the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with their optimism? What changes do you like to see in your new century?

#people #st #century #scientists #changes #world #optimism
The 21st century is the golden era of humanity where modernization and globalization become the main stars of society.
Scientists
 are going through many explorations and expeditions, maximizing the modernized facilities. I agree that it is possible for humankind to have a better
life
, thanks to the hands and the minds of
scientists
, who believe they can change the world.
Scientists
 have recognized many possibilities to improve
life
 quality and prevent the
earth
 from mass destruction, which will be explained in
this
 paper.
To begin
 with,
scientists
 have been exploring many sides of the world and inventing things that are beneficial for society since many years ago. One of the newest breakthroughs of the century is the invention of a cancer detector that can locate cancerous cells by targeting their marker on the immune system. With
this
 technology, cancer can be prevented before getting into dangerous states and could lead to a better and healthier society. With their brilliant minds, everything could be invented to increase the quality of
life
 for humanity.
On the other hand
,
scientists
 are currently crafting alternative technologies and finding renewable resources
due to
 the rising concern about the
earth
's deterioration. Renewable energy was harvested and green cars
such
 as hydrogen and electric cars were invented to prevent the
earth
 from losing its natural resources. These alternative pathways are created to prevent mass destruction of the
earth
 that could possibly end humanity. Renewable energy and other green technologies are predicted to be a
savior
Change the spelling
saviour
show examples
 for humankind in the future. In conclusion, our future could be dependent on the hands of
scientists
, who keep making breakthroughs and inventions to improve the quality of
life
.
This
 legacy of curiosity needs to be passed on to the next generation, as a way of surviving
life
.
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Task Achievement
Make sure that every body paragraph clearly supports the main topic with well-developed ideas. Expand on examples to fully explain how they support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating strong, clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate to the main argument of the essay. This will improve logical flow and make your essay more cohesive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Continue to use transition phrases and organize paragraphs in a logical sequence, but enhance this with clearer development of each point for stronger cohesion.
Task Achievement
Use specific, detailed examples to support each point. Avoid general statements and ensure your examples directly relate to the topic and your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Breakthroughs
  • Incurable diseases
  • Rapid development
  • Vaccines
  • Technological advancements
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Cautious optimism
  • Ethical issues
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Renewable energy
  • Climate change
  • Collaboration
  • Global issues
  • Wealth disparity
  • Innovative
  • Economic policies
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