Many individuals argue that the most efficient method to cultivate
societyChange noun form
show examples
health
is by supporting no-charge
health
care
,
while
others believe that paying more money for
health
education
purposeFix the agreement mistake
show examples
by authorities is more significant. In
this
essay, I will discuss both
view-pointsCorrect your spelling
show examples
in-depth and explain why the latter assertion is more compelling.
On the one hand, those who advocate for providing
no paymentAdd a hyphen
show examples
health
care
agree that many
patients
could access the medical system without having any anxiety about the treatment fee. To encourage people
goAdd the particle
show examples
to hospitals more, governments could pay annually cost for citizens to be treated in terms of
health
.
Thus
, they could receive
a Correct article usage
show examples
high qualityAdd a hyphen
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service from verified clinics
instead
of treating
in Change preposition
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unqualified ones
due to
the cost they have to pay for their treatments.
Moreover
, they would pay more attention more on their
health
and listen carefully
Change preposition
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advicesChange the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
from
doctors
, which increases the quality of
health
in society.
However
,
this
measure could cost a massive amount of
stateCorrect article usage
show examples
budget to deal with.
On the other hand
, proponents for prioritizing and investing in
health
education
believe that educating about
health
has many potential benefits.
Doctors
who learn more about
health
would have a massive amount of knowledge about their fields, and become more skillful to deal with risky diseases.
Besides
, investing more
onChange preposition
show examples
health
education
could provide more up-to-date medical devices for
doctors
to practice during their courses and allow them to access the most modern medical technology in the world to treat their
patients
as well.
For example
, to face up to COVID-19, many medical staffs in Vietnam studied abroad and bought the newest medical devices to produce vaccines to treat
patients
who suffered from
this
disease.
In conclusion,
while
many individuals believe that providing
no paymentAdd a hyphen
show examples
health
care
could allow people to access qualified
health Correct your spelling
show examples
care
services, I concur that prioritizing
health
education
has more potential merits including developing
doctors
' skills and owning up-to-date medical technology to treat
patients
. Mark that essay based on IELT band score descriptors