IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

This diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summaries the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summaries the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#electricity #power #station #summaries #information #selectiong #features #comparisons
This
 graph illustrates how hydroelectric power
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
 can be produced electricity.
This
 writing will be done by giving a big picture and the details of
flow
Add an article
the flow
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.
Overall
, hydroelectricity
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
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 from
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
 and it will
processing
Change the verb form
process
be processing
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 in the morning to afternoon.
While
 the process will be stopped at night. In
this
 process, there is one machine that will be used, a generator. It contains three main processes.
Firstly
, the
water
 from
river
Add an article
the river
a river
show examples
 is flowing to the dam, which will be opened
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
day
Correct article usage
the day
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,
then
 it will
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 the
water
into
Change preposition
for
show examples
 power generation.
Secondly
,
this
 liquid will be processed in
generator
Correct article usage
the generator
show examples
 and
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 the power lines will be produced. At night, the generator
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 operated and there are two stages to the
water
 turn back.
First,
the
water
 will be pumped into
high-level
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
 reservoir.
Last
, the
water
 will
be stayed
Change to the active voice
stay
have stayed
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 at the pipe because the dam is closing during
this
 time. The process will be repeated the same every day during
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
 and night.
Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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