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Band 7

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #centres #malls #development
Nowadays, there are many different ways of shopping in our community. Some small
shops
 are not necessary in our daily life
due to
 people going to the biggest one.
However
, there are both pros and cons of
this
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why closing the smallest
shops
 has better results than staying everywhere. First of all, the most important thing is that all services and qualities must follow the standard, and it is the best thing for customers. An increasing number of small
shops
 is one of the hardest things to control.
Moreover
, if customers go to the biggest shopping centres, they would spend less time collecting other kinds of products.
For instance
, there is a report from the Institute of Statistics, shows that Australian people normally spend two to three hours collecting weekly consumer products.
Due to
this
, road traffic is always similar to weekdays during the weekends.
In addition
,
this
 is the best thing for people who have diet control when there are no small
shops
 around their home. Turning to the other side of the argument, small
shops
 are the family business. The business owners are getting in trouble to do it in the future, or do they need to find another business? Another issue is that
this
 is a kind of difficulty for going to the shopping centres when customers need an urgent thing. In conclusion, it would have negative results when the businesses are closed.
However
, I believe the benefits of going to the biggest one eventually outweigh any negatives.
Submitted by enkhbat0923 on

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task achievement
Clarify and expand your arguments with more diverse and specific examples. Including a broader range of examples will enrich your argument and make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more clearly and cohesively. Utilize a variety of cohesive devices beyond simple conjunctions to better connect your paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider delving deeper into the ramifications of your discussed points on the community, environment, economy, and personal choices. This will provide a more rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion succinctly encapsulate your main points and stance. This frames your argument effectively for the reader.
task achievement
You've made a strong effort to address both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the essay's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure includes both an introduction and conclusion, which helps to organize your thoughts and present a rounded argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail outlets
  • consumer behavior
  • shop locally
  • convenience
  • variety
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • community
  • personal touch
  • small businesses
  • local economy
  • big corporations
  • dependence
  • shopping habits
  • urbanization
  • globalization
  • competition
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