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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people say that the main enviromental problem of our time is the loss of partivcular species of plants and animlas. others say that there are more important enviromental problmes discuss both these views and give your opinion

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While
Linking Words
 attention regarding
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 become
intenseintens
Correct your spelling
intenseness
, some argue that the
firstthat
Correct your spelling
first that
 first and foremost issue that should be solved is the
extinction
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 of
plants
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 and
animals
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. At the same time, some believe that
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
problem
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 is not the main
problem
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 of
this
Linking Words
world
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. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extinction
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 is an important
problem
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 but
people
Use synonyms
 need to pay attention more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other urgent
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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such
Linking Words
 as global warming. On the one hand,
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extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
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 of
plants
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 and
animals
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 can not be underestimated.
Plants
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 and
animals
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 have
nature
Correct article usage
a nature
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 correlation in
this
Linking Words
world
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the damage of
this
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relation
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relationship
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 will cause negative
effect
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effects
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 and invent brand new
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems.
For example
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, the
extinction
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 of
snake
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snakes
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 as the top animal of
food
Correct article usage
the food
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 chain
lead
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leads
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 to an uncontrolled amount of rats. Those rats will attack rice fields and crop failure is the worst result.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems have
urgent
Correct article usage
an urgent
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 phase and bigger effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
world
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. One of the
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
 is global warming. As
people
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 can see on the news that
this
Linking Words
 issue is getting worse
through
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over
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 time. The damage
of
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to
show examples
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
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 owing to global warming will cause horrible
impact
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impacts
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 like the end of the
world
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. Since scientists have not found
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 planet to live
and
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on and
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earth
Correct your spelling
Earth
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 is the only planet that
people
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 can live on, global warming should be the main focus.
To sum up
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, other
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems
such
Linking Words
 as global warming should
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more attention from
people
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 as
this
Linking Words
 is urgent.
Nevertheless
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,
people
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 should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
extinction
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 of
plants
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 and
animals
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 to minimize and prevent new
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.

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