It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that the majority of
people
who play an essential role in society totally dedicate their lives to careers, and they have no sense of keeping a
balance
between their
work
and personal lives.
However
,
people
should always keep
work-life
balance
as their top consideration because it is imperative for their body health and family relationships.
Firstly
,
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
work-life
balance
has a positive impact on employees' health.
This
is because personal life can ensure free
time
, which allows staff to arrange regular
exercise
. Whenever an employee has enough
exercise
time
, he or she may have a robust cardiovascular system, a lower rate of heart disease and a lower risk of other chronic diseases. Outdoor morning training is a good example since it not only trains one's muscles but
also
simulates the body's circular system, making it more active.
Moreover
, individuals who consistently have
this
habit are healthier than these busy workers without
exercise
hours.
Furthermore
, family relationships greatly are affected by
work-life
balance
, which means a husband or a wife needs to
work
for a living
while
they should share enough free
time
together. The reason is that free
time
offers various opportunities for
people
to communicate and build better understandings, which is an essential method to form a better family bond.
For instance
, family dinner is a wonderful
time
for parents and children to share their
work
and study experiences during the daytime.
Hence
, each family member might understand others' challenges, pressure and hard
work
better, and encourage each other,
thus
being a supportive family. In conclusion, despite spending a whole
lifetimetime
Correct your spelling
lifetime
on a career that might be successful,
people
should keep a
work-life
balance
as
exercise
time
can bring health and family support is the foundation for
further
career development.
Submitted by cc on

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Grammar & Punctuation
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing such as 'lifetimetime'.
Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea and avoid redundancy for even greater coherence.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the conclusion effectively wraps up the discussion.
Examples & Evidence
The essay provides relevant examples, such as outdoor morning training and family dinners, to support the main points.
Structure
Main points are generally well-organized, and the essay follows a logical structure.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-being
  • Productivity
  • Fulfilling
  • Time management
  • Prioritize
  • Burnout
  • Boundaries
  • Dedication
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Efficiency
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