IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is argued that the majority of
people
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 who play an essential role in society totally dedicate their lives to careers, and they have no sense of keeping a
balance
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 between their
work
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 and personal lives.
However
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,
people
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 should always keep
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work-life
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balance
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 as their top consideration because it is imperative for their body health and family relationships.
Firstly
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,
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
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work-life
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balance
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 has a positive impact on employees' health.
This
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 is because personal life can ensure free
time
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, which allows staff to arrange regular
exercise
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. Whenever an employee has enough
exercise
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time
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, he or she may have a robust cardiovascular system, a lower rate of heart disease and a lower risk of other chronic diseases. Outdoor morning training is a good example since it not only trains one's muscles but
also
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 simulates the body's circular system, making it more active.
Moreover
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, individuals who consistently have
this
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 habit are healthier than these busy workers without
exercise
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 hours.
Furthermore
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, family relationships greatly are affected by
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work-life
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balance
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, which means a husband or a wife needs to
work
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 for a living
while
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 they should share enough free
time
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 together. The reason is that free
time
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 offers various opportunities for
people
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 to communicate and build better understandings, which is an essential method to form a better family bond.
For instance
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, family dinner is a wonderful
time
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 for parents and children to share their
work
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 and study experiences during the daytime.
Hence
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, each family member might understand others' challenges, pressure and hard
work
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 better, and encourage each other,
thus
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 being a supportive family. In conclusion, despite spending a whole
lifetimetime
Correct your spelling
lifetime
 on a career that might be successful,
people
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 should keep a
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work-life
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balance
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 as
exercise
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time
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 can bring health and family support is the foundation for
further
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 career development.

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Grammar & Punctuation
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing such as 'lifetimetime'.
Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea and avoid redundancy for even greater coherence.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and the conclusion effectively wraps up the discussion.
Examples & Evidence
The essay provides relevant examples, such as outdoor morning training and family dinners, to support the main points.
Structure
Main points are generally well-organized, and the essay follows a logical structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-being
  • Productivity
  • Fulfilling
  • Time management
  • Prioritize
  • Burnout
  • Boundaries
  • Dedication
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Efficiency
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