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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts give information about the three various elements (carbohydrates, protein and fat) of three meal plans, namely an average diet, a healthy diet and a healthy diet for sport.

The pie charts give information about the three various elements (carbohydrates, protein and fat) of three meal plans, namely an average diet, a healthy diet and a healthy diet for sport.
#information #three #elements #carbohydrates #protein #plans #diet #sport
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There are
three
Use synonyms
 pie charts shown - each representing the proportion of macronutrients found in meal
plans
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 for different diets - average, healthy and
for
Change preposition
apply
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sport. The carbohydrates are shown in red, protein in yellow and fats in blue.
Along with
Linking Words
 the pictorial representation, there are
also
Linking Words
 proportions shown in percentages. All
three
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 charts indicate the fat content in all
three
Use synonyms
 meal
plans
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 the least. The fat intake in an average and healthy
diet
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 meal plan is the same at 20%
however
Linking Words
 a lesser amount is required for those undertaking sports, at 15%. The carbohydrate content in a
diet
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 fluctuates greatly in comparison to the other two - the proportion of carbohydrates is 40% for those on an average
diet
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, 50% for those on a healthy meal plan and 80% for those taking part in sports.
This
Linking Words
 is a range of 40%, which is the highest of all
three
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 elements.
Finally
Linking Words
, the protein
need
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needs
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changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
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 with the level of activity too, with a range of 15% between the meal
plans
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 for an average
diet
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 and meal
plans
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 for those in sport. All in all, the difference in the meal
plans
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 reflects the level of fitness individuals have. The higher percentage of carbohydrates may be
due to
Linking Words
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
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 requirements of these individuals,
coupled with
Linking Words
 the low percentage of fats.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words three, plans, diet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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