Teenagers should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that
teenagers
must be imprisoned with adult criminals
no matter what crime they have committed. I completely disagree with this
point of view because teenagers
have low emotional capacity and their attitudes are still developing.
Juvenile criminals
should not be in prison with adults because it could affect their mental health. Teens who committed a crime, are not mentally stable and imprisonment can make their mental well-being worse than before. Additionally
, adult criminals
can likely abuse young criminals
. For instance
, they can be molested and harassed by older criminals
because of these situations, they could develop depression and traumas that could lead to suicide. The isolation and loneliness of imprisonment could be harsh for any person and
especially for a child or teen.
Correct word choice
apply
Furthermore
, it is typically known that teenagers
are immature and impulsive because their brains have not matured yet and they have poor decision-making. Their understanding of the world is not yet broad like an adult's. Parents and teachers must be able to find ways to curb their bad behaviours and thoughts in order for them to transition well and be good members of society. For example
, teenagers
who bully their classmates should be disciplined immediately because the bullying itself not only has bad effects on the bullied child but also
on the bullies. This
detrimental attitude could grow with them and it might even cause more harm for themselves.
In conclusion, despite how serious the crimes are, I completely disagree that a teenager must be put with older criminals
because they are mentally immature and their behaviours are still underdeveloped.Submitted by angeline07 on
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task response
Ensure that your responses directly address the task prompt. Include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on connecting your ideas more with cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite