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Band 6.5

Today more and more people want things instantly ( eg: goods, service, news) Why is this? Is it negative or positive development?

#people #eg #goods #service #news #development
Nowadays, many crowds would like to act on everything immediately
such
 as education, politics, economy. It comes from the demand of saving time
as well as
 effort in everything. As I see it, it is a positive development about the high speed of dealing with all
stuff
. It is crucial for society to understand that innovations
such
 as the internet, mobile phones or social networks all cause a lack of attention span in users.
This
 is caused by the community getting used to short content and information in today's digital world.
Thus
 , by not wanting to patiently long for
stuff
, the community tend to want those values instantly and would potentially get mad when do not get a proper service, With the development of that trend, humans now will always want
stuff
 urgently and will not appreciate the entire value of what they are receiving. What I mean is because of always wanting their benefits to be fast and rapid,
those
Change the determiner
that stuff
show examples
stuff
 will be seen as ordinary but not as valuable as those you have to work hard and wait for.
Therefore
 , consumers are less likely to be grateful for that value.
For example
 , you will be much more proud of yourself if you get a degree of education by hard-working learning rather than going to class not paying attention and cheating in exams or illegally buying one. In conclusion, the crowd increasingly prefer everything immediately finished. It can bring many advantages
as well as
 the risk of dependence on the easy-to-finish and do-without supervision
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific instances where the desire for instant goods or services has a significant impact.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will help provide a clearer structure to your essay.
task achievement
Work on clarifying your points and ensuring that each idea is fully developed. This will help make your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have clear and concise topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help your reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Try to elaborate more on your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and reiterating your opinion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a reasoned opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • advent of technology
  • smartphones
  • internet
  • social media platforms
  • online shopping
  • fast-paced nature
  • modern life
  • immediate satisfaction
  • drive innovation
  • efficiency
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
  • erosion of patience
  • impulsive buying
  • shallow consumption
  • interpersonal relationships
  • unrealistic standards
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