IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
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It is sometimes argued that foreigners should pay more money than residents for visiting cultural and historical
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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. I totally disagree
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this
Change preposition
with this
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 argument and
also
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,
I
Correct word choice
and I
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will explain
further
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 in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, tourists are already paying
considerable
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a considerable
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 amount of money in that country. To put it another way, foreigners tend to buy
gift
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gifts
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 for memory
as well as
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, they are spending on hotels, restaurants and pubs.
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Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 another reason that I
opposing
Wrong verb form
oppose
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this
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 statement is local people are already paying through
tax
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the tax
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 system for maintaining and
renewing
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renewal
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cost
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costs
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.
For
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this
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 reason, there is no way to charge visitors compared to the locals.  In the second place, if foreigners acknowledge that they are paying more than residents to visit historical and cultural
attraction
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attractions
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in
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particular
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a particular
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 nation, they might choose not to travel
that
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to that
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 country
as a consequence
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, there will be few visitors
in
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to
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 cultural areas. It will be
huge
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a huge
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 drawback to
touristic
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tourist
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places
Use synonyms
 which earn their income through visitors.
As a result
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, historical
places
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 will deteriorate because
of
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apply
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local authorities can not maintain
without
Correct pronoun usage
them without
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 funds like these historical
places
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 anymore.
Moreover
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, it is more important than money which is,
archeological
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archaeological
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 remains are recognized by people.
This
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 is the real value of historical and cultural
places
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 in the truth.
To sum up
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, charging more
travelers
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travellers
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 is particularly beneficial to finance
of
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apply
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local
places
Use synonyms
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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, it is not
great
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a great
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 idea
to
Change preposition
for
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development
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the development
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 of cultural attractions. The decline of tourism and
unattraction
Correct article usage
the unattraction
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 of historical
places
Use synonyms
 would
be affect
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affect
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that particular
Change to a genitive case
the popularity of that particular place
that particular place's popularity
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places
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 popularity
furthermore
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, it will be hard to sustain
places
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 like these.
Submitted by llbayarmaa on

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