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Band 7.5

Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes in some countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#research #food #products #cigarettes #countries
These days, many
people
 argue that certain
food
 advertisements should be forbidden like cigarette ones
,
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 because researchers found that overeating is as harmful as smoking.
While
 I accept that overeating may bring about some health problems
such
 as smoking, I believe that the advertising of particular
food
 should not be banned. On the one hand, there are two reasons why consuming a large amount of
food
 has an adverse impact on consumers.
Firstly
, consuming more calories than you burn through doing exercises leads to being overweight or obese, which leads to putting a lot of stress on the muscles
such
 as experiencing muscular and joint pains.
In addition
, if
people
 start eating a lot of unhealthy foods which have a lot of calories, and high-fat junk, they are more likely to suffer from various health disorders : high blood pressure, and heart attacks.
Secondly
, when
people
 suddenly put on weight, they tend to lose their confidence in their appearance and worry excessively about their image.
This
 leads to decreasing productivity and suffering from isolation or depression.
On the other hand
, despite the problems mentioned above, I disagree with the idea of banning certain
food
 product advertisements in the same way as tobacco. The first reason is that advertising is one of the best ways to reach potential customers and introduce new products and services to consumers. If a ban was introduced, the revenues of many
food
 factories can dramatically drop, which leads to bankruptcy. The second reason is that there are better measures to solve
this
 problem. More specifically, the government should raise
people
’s awareness about the detrimental effects of overeating. And they even provide courses to teach
people
 how to make healthier
food
 choices and how to stop overeating. In conclusion,
although
 consuming an unnecessary amount of
food
 is harmful as smoking, I believe that the advertising of certain
food
 should be banned.
Submitted by lamminhkhoi2312 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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