The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram depicts a method through which
sugar
Use synonyms
is manufactured by
sugar
Use synonyms
cane
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process consists of 7 steps starting from growing the sugarcane and ending up with drawing and cooling of sugars. As can be seen from the chart, First of all, the sugarcane grew in fields for 12 to 18 months, when
sugar
Use synonyms
cane
Use synonyms
got ready for harvesting ,
then
Linking Words
it was cut down by hand and by machine. After that, the harvested
sugar
Use synonyms
cane
Use synonyms
was transferred to a crushing machine where the machine extracted
juice
Use synonyms
from the
sugar
Use synonyms
cane
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
juice
Use synonyms
proceeds from purifying
juice
Use synonyms
to Evaporator through a limestone filter
Moreover
Linking Words
, in step 5 , In the Evaporator the
juice
Use synonyms
becomes syrup by heating the evaporator. Following that, the syrup is delivered in a centrifuge, where, it separates
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals from the syrup.
Finally
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
is produced and placed in a pot for drawing and cooling
Submitted by kiranyahoo04 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: