The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane

The diagram depicts a method through which

sugar

is manufactured by

sugar

cane

Overall

, the process consists of 7 steps starting from growing the sugarcane and ending up with drawing and cooling of sugars. As can be seen from the chart, First of all, the sugarcane grew in fields for 12 to 18 months, when

sugar

cane

got ready for harvesting ,

then

it was cut down by hand and by machine. After that, the harvested

sugar

cane

was transferred to a crushing machine where the machine extracted

juice

from the

sugar

cane

Subsequently

, the

juice

proceeds from purifying

juice

to Evaporator through a limestone filter

Moreover

, in step 5 , In the Evaporator the

juice

becomes syrup by heating the evaporator. Following that, the syrup is delivered in a centrifuge, where, it separates

sugar

crystals from the syrup.

Finally

sugar

is produced and placed in a pot for drawing and cooling

Submitted by kiranyahoo04 on Sat Jun 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, juice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

151 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people argue that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree with it and reckon that nowadays it is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In various regions globally, Some individuals contend that acquiring a university education is the optimal pathway to success in life. Conversely, in the contemporary era, others hold dissenting opinions, asserting that this notion is no longer valid. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives and express my opinion, which aligns with the latter viewpoint.
7.5
band
In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?
Smoking has been banned in public places like parks, hospitals and restaurants in many nations, and it is a law that many people support. I agree with this initiative because it reduces the harmful effects of passive smoking and also encourages smokers to quit.
5.5
band
Mobile phones should be banned in public places, Up to what extent do you agree/disagree?
Public safety is still one of the main issues in the world.Some populations suggest like smoking, and headsets should not be allowed to use in the zone including on roads or where folks have gathered.I do not support this idea because it has become an integral part of life and there is no way it could be restricted anywhere.
4.5
band
Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today, because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. Do you agree or disagree?
People do not just go to museums to enjoy an art exhibition only, they want to see also the structures, history and aesthetics features of a local museum, which varies depending on each geographical area. For example, a Western museum is surely different from a museum in an Asian country in terms of building materials and also the ways artworks showed there. If online artwork could satisfy art connoisseurs or history enthusiasts, art exhibitions showing Van Gogh paintings would not be sold out quickly. For those who really know how to enjoy a piece of art, there is nothing that can replace the real-time interaction between the viewers and the real art work.
8.5
band
Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: recommend a city suggest a few jobs that your friend could do give some opinions about making friends with the locals.
I hope this letter finds you in the pink of your health. As you mentioned last time about your half-year visit to my country, I thought of writing about a few suggestions.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane

Some people argue that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree with it and reckon that nowadays it is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Mobile phones should be banned in public places, Up to what extent do you agree/disagree?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today, because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: recommend a city suggest a few jobs that your friend could do give some opinions about making friends with the locals.