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Band 6.5

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists in today's world. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #scientists #world
These days, so many societies think that people who work in the entertainment industry,
such
 as comedians or artists are more useful than men of learning. In
this
 essay, I will discuss how much I am okay or not with
this
 though.
Firstly
, the entertainment industry is so necessary for human psychology. A lot of nations need
this
. The role of
this
 is to provide emotional relief and cultural enrichment during challenging times. Individuals who work in
this
 sector can influence their ability to reach and impact large audiences with messages, including promoting science and education.
Secondly
, normally every person interested in science is very valuable for our future.
However
, the argument is more critical
due to
 their contributions to medical advancements, technology, and solving global challenges. Not the other way around.
Furthermore
, the increasingly blurred lines between amusement and wisdom through educational programs, lore communicators, and platforms like YouTube and podcasts. In fact, the societal value of balancing scientific advancement with cultural development, suggesting neither entertainers nor scientists are more prominent but rather serve complementary roles. So
that is
 why we have to know about their differences and similarities. In conclusion, both of them have a huge impact on our lives. In my opinion, it would not make sense to present one of the two as more significant.
In addition
, the balance between them should be established in a way that supports each other
Submitted by ecem.tekben on

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Task Achievement
To improve your 'Task achievement' score, ensure that you thoroughly address the essay prompt by stating a clear opinion on the topic. While you present both sides, make the stance you are taking more explicit in the introduction and throughout the essay. Furthermore, utilizing specific examples to support your points can greatly enhance your argument, making it more convincing and relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion
For 'Coherence and Cohesion,' focus on improving the logical flow between ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly. Also, ensure that paragraphs are well-developed and ideas are elaborated upon sufficiently before moving on to the next point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • emotional relief
  • global challenges
  • science communicators
  • medical advancements
  • educational programs
  • societal value
  • complementary roles
  • influencers
  • blurred lines
What to do next:
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