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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and effects of this?

#people #countries #time #effects
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Nowadays,
people
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 from all over the world are always busy with their
work
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 schedule to cover
life
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, so that they have no more
time
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 with their family.
This
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 essay will state several reasons connected with the above topic, which leads to some consequences. There are many causes why communities are not spending much moment with their families.
Firstly
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, society
tends
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tend
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 to leave their hometowns to move to the big cities to study and job. There is a range various of jobs in metropolitan cities,
that's
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that is
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 a chance for
people
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 to improve their income.
As a result
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, they have no
time
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 to come back to their hometown to visit their parents, even just once or two times a year
due to
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 far distance. They only communicate quickly through video calls with their family members, and the connection between the parents and their sons or their daughters gradually decreases.
Secondly
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,
people
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 are dealing with their busy
work
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 schedules to cover the high cost of living. They must
work
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 in the morning until the evening to earn money to cope with many bills in
life
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. They will face with many stress at
work
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 and spend the balance of the day taking rest and preparing for the next working day. Having no more
time
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 for family and friends
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people
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 become more introverted, they tend to less communicate with others.
Finally
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, the internet developed very fast,
people
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 tend to be addicted to smartphones and spend less
time
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 talking to others. They accept wasting
while
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 browsing or surfing the internet
instead
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 of spending
time
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 with family members for outdoor activities. That leads to a lot of diseases,
such
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 as obesity, heart disease, and so on. In conclusion, there are many reasons that
people
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use
Verb problem
spend
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 less
time
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 with their family, which
causes to
Verb problem
has
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 a lot of effects on their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. It's
time
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 for
people
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 to take a look at
this
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 matter to improve their
life
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 quality.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence and cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • predominant
  • commitments
  • imbalance
  • digital technology
  • social media
  • globalization
  • weakened
  • disconnected
  • strain
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • developmental issues
  • behavioral problems
  • parental guidance
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