IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #money #arts
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When development and construction occur in an
area
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 or city, the government usually installs several art pieces,
such
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 as sculptures, monuments, etc. in that
area
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. Some
people
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 have an argument that art is part of society and it will increase the aesthetic side of the city. But, not all
people
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 agree with that statement. Let us discuss the positive and negative sides of
this
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 phenomenon.
Firstly
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, the arts itself can be a marker of a region. In regional development theory, experts agree that an
area
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 needs a
landmark
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 to be well known by its population and
also
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 the societies from outside of
this
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area
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. To make a great
landmark
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, the government needs to collaborate with great artists and spends a lot of money to implement that idea. But,
on the other hand
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, some governments don't plan and execute the great
landmark
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 for their city or region.
Landmark
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 itself must have strong emotional ties with its surrounding residences. Landmarks must be representative of the society's identity, especially culture. Many governments just make a picturesque memorial just to increase the number of visitors, but they forget to make a marker that connected with its
people
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 and is well known to the whole world.
To conclude
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this
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 discussion, I tend to disagree with the budget allocation for an art installation in an
area
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, especially if it's not planned and executed well and
also
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 doesn't represent its community. Many aspects of development are more important than just arts,
such
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 as education, accessibility to adequate food and sanitation, healthcare, public transport, etc.
Furthermore
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, many politicians use landmarks as just their leadership legacy and become useless for the rest of the
people
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 in that space.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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