IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is often said that the death of all members of species of plants and animals is the most serious problem. In my opinion,
however
Linking Words
, even though
this
Linking Words
 concept is undeniable, I believe that there are more environmental issues that need to be solved. On the one hand, biodiversity loss is an alarming issue. Specifically, colossal numbers of species are becoming extinct across the globe. To illustrate, black rhino populations suffered dramatic losses in their numbers
due to
Linking Words
 large-scale poaching to supply illegal rhino horn trade in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years. The staggering decline doesn’t fall in only animals, but in plants, too. A good example of
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 is the dragon trees.
Although
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 they can grow for thousands of years, they are no match for severe drought
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and climate change. They are steadily disappearing from the continent.
On the other hand
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, I would argue that there are more environmental issues that should be
concerned
Verb problem
considered
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, particularly the problem of
air
Use synonyms
 pollution. To illustrate, a great number of vehicles are manufactured and introduced to the public on account of the increasing demand for these products. When the consumption of automobiles climbs significantly, it contributes greatly to a higher rate of Carbon emissions, which has a detrimental effect on
air
Use synonyms
 quality.
Consequently
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,
this
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 polluted
air
Use synonyms
 results in a variety of ailments including lung cancers, or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. In conclusion, a population crash in the wild is considered significant.
However
Linking Words
, the release of pollutants into the
air
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 causes a lot of problems if neglected and not managed properly.

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task response
Ensure that each point made in the essay is directly relevant to the topic and the question prompt.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and transition signals to show logical relationships between ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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