IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In contemporary society, everyone should have equal opportunities in education. Therefore, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #opportunities #education #universities #numbers #students
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It is certainly true that
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 person in society should have access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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similar education opportunities regardless of gender . Some people think that the number of men and
women
Use synonyms
 who
accepted
Add a missing verb
are accepted
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
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universities
Use synonyms
 should be equal in all
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
. I totally disagree with the statement, because I believe acceptance in
universities
Use synonyms
 should be
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
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 qualifications and experience
as well as
Linking Words
 abilities.
To begin
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 with, There are several reasons why I believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
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accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
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 people
on
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in
show examples
 tertiary education rely on
the
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apply
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gender is unfair.
Firstly
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, if the
universities
Use synonyms
 accept
the
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apply
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students
Use synonyms
 based
in
Change preposition
on
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 their performance and qualifications in high school,
this
Linking Words
 can encourage children to study hard in order to enter their dream major, which means every
Use synonyms
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 will do
best
Correct pronoun usage
their best
show examples
 .
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
 can enhance the quality of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system and make it more
competition
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competitive
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.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 around the world study hard to achieve
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 grades in order to enter the medicine or engineering major
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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universities
Use synonyms
. Another reason, some
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 are suitable for men only. To illustrate, the major of engineering is
apporpriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
,
this
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 is
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
men have
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
 to deal with heavy
deveices
Correct your spelling
devices
 compared to
women
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, later in the future career
Add a comma
,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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engineers can handle
with
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apply
show examples
heavy equipment
such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 turbines,
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and condensrs
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condensrs
Correct your spelling
condensers
condenses
.
Therefore
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,
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
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 similar a chance
in
Change preposition
to
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 enter engineering major maybe leads to make
women
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struggle
Wrong verb form
struggling
show examples
 later in
the
Change the word
their
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preofessional
Correct your spelling
pre-professional
 life with health issue
suchs
Correct your spelling
such
such as
,
pain
Change preposition
as pain
show examples
 in
back
Add an article
the back
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,
Correct word choice
and injeries
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injeries
Correct your spelling
injuries
,
this
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because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
Change preposition
of her
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her
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 unable to cope with heavy
equipemnt
Correct your spelling
equipment
,which
also
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 lead to
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
 the productivity. In conclusion, in my perspective,
the
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apply
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
 should accept
the
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apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on their qualifications and take the future of the major
in
Change preposition
into
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 their consideration
instead
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 of gender.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equal opportunities
  • Gender equality
  • Stereotypes
  • Diverse
  • Gender disparity
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • Humanities
  • Quotas
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Meritocracy
  • Tokenism
  • Workforce
  • Leadership roles
  • Aptitude-based
  • Scholarships
  • Economic growth
  • Innovation
  • Social stability
  • Comparative analysis
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