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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries around the world men and women are having children later age than in the past. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

#countries #world #men #women #children #age #development #effects #society #life
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These days,
people
 who are living around the world are changing their
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
, about life and they have so different lifestyles from the prior;
furthermore
, we can see some
people
 having
children
 when they are older than the past natives.
This
 essay discusses the main reasons for
this
 issue and the influences that have on communities. On the one hand, having
children
 late in life has several reasons
such
 as
people
 getting married late and some couples not having
children
 really soon.
Firstly
, the global inhabitants have various beliefs from the previous and these ideals, which are a good economy, good car, baby citer, and other things, are at a high level so when they obtain these things they are older than the
last
 population,so they not only getting married but
also
 borning
children
 late.
Secondly
, technology has been developing really fast;
however
, it has some bad effects on men or women who want
children
, so it is important that they do some technological ways, which need a lot of time, to have
children
.
On the other hand
,
this
 matter has different effects on society. On the one side, when the parents become older, they do not take care of their
children
 very well owing to the fact that they do not have the energy to play games, go to the park, and do their
children
's work. On the other side, most of the time
this
 kind of parents do not have more than two
children
;
therefore
, the number of young generations will be reduced;
moreover
,the old
people
 will not be able to teach everything to their
children
 inasmuch as they are old.
To sum up
,
this
 evidence is a good thing for communities who think about their comfort;
nevertheless
, it has a lot of disadvantages for countries and governments.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing statistics or studies, or providing hypothetical situations that illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph develops one main idea thoroughly before moving on to another point. This will strengthen the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to write a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your main points without introducing new ideas. This will help reinforce the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt's question by discussing reasons for people having children later and the effects on society and family life.
coherence cohesion
There is an evident structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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