IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You have arranged to rent a new apartment, but will not be able to move in immediately due to some personal difficulties. Write a letter to the apartment owner. In your letter • describe the situation • explain why you won't be able to move in right now • say that you would like to move in at a later date

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 email regarding the new apartment that I rented
last
Linking Words
 week. My name is Nouf and I booked one of your apartments number 87 on the second floor. As I told you before, I got a new job in Jeddah and I am supposed to move these days. I can say that everything is almost done and ready including my apartment, and the furniture.
Also
Linking Words
, I rented a new car which I am really excited about.
However
Linking Words
, I am facing difficulties in terms of my current job. My manager told me that I am unable to move until I finish working on a project
that is
Linking Words
 highly important.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I find myself in a situation where I am unable to leave my current work . I believe that the project will take so much time, and I will be busy for the next month.
As a result
Linking Words
, I would like to inform you that I am only able to move to my new place on the 5th of April. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you for understanding. Kind regards, NOUF MUT,

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your letter is generally well-structured and addresses all parts of the task. However, you could improve it by including a more detailed explanation of how you plan to manage the rent payments until you move in.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although the letter flows well, you could use more transitional phrases to improve the coherence between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' can make your writing even smoother.
Greeting and Closing
The greeting and closing of your letter are both appropriate and polite, which creates a positive impression.
Single Idea Per Paragraph
Each paragraph introduces a single main idea and sticks to it, which helps maintain clarity.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone of your letter is suitable for the situation; it is formal yet friendly and respectful.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: