Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The topic of
music
has been controversial. Some
people
believe that
music
is just a form of
entertainment
,
whereas
I agree with those who think that
music
has a much larger
impact
on society today. On the one hand, it is commonly believed that
music
is just a form of
entertainment
. The most important reason is that listening to
music
helps them to relax.
For example
,
according to
the latest study conducted by Bangkok University, it was revealed that listeners who listen to acoustic
music
can be released Endorphin and Adrenalin hormones from the brain. It is highly likely that the mind and body feel calm and happy.
This
example shows that
music
plays a major role in the
entertainment
of the mind and body.
On the other hand
, it seems to me that
music
has a much larger
impact
on society today. The most significant reason is the fact that
music
has an effect on
people
's appreciation. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that K-pop
music
in Korea is more famous in the world. There is a possibility that
people
admire and fall in love with the artist,
for example
, children like to sing and dance Korean songs. I agree with
this
point because K-pop
music
has a lot of
impact
on
people
around the world. Especially, Lisa is more famous. In conclusion, having considered both sides of
this
topic,
although
music
is just a form of
entertainment
, I agree with those who think that
music
has a much larger
impact
on society today. I strongly support that
music
has an effect on
people
's appreciation.
Submitted by ssirirat on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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