Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

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It is a contentious issue whether companies should set a specific percentage of women and men in the highest positions or not make any

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

this

Linking Words

matter. In my opinion, the factor that makes the biggest difference is that both genders are working on average the same amount of hours. If

this

Linking Words

is the case, certainly we should take care of an equal chance for them.

To begin

Linking Words

with, looking at the working hours is an accurate comparison.

For example

Linking Words

, in the Netherlands 70% of the female population works part-time;

however

Linking Words

, enterprises are obliged to give them 50% of managerial workstations. I think

this

Linking Words

is discrimination against men and has nothing to do with equality. In

such

Linking Words

a case, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there are many countries where statistics prove similar work regardless of sex. In-deep analysis should be a base for making a 50/50 rule. Politics should decide that If everyone works evenly, they will be treated the same way.

For instance

Linking Words

, when two people compete for a high-level job the experience, education, skills and other factors making them a perfect fit for it should be the only one taken under consideration. Following that will not only make it fair

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

improve the company by having the best employees possible.

To sum up

Linking Words

, people argue if we should make regulations clarifying how many males and females can work on the main board. I concur that genders should be equally treated. If the person works harder, she or he should get a bonus.

Aga Sun Oct 06 2024

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relevant specific examples

The essay could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the arguments. Providing examples from real-world situations or more detailed hypothetical scenarios could improve the relevance and depth of the examples used.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure that all main points directly address the essay question. It might be useful to elaborate more on the merits or drawbacks of having a mandatory percentage of women in high-level positions, as this directly relates to the given task.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring the response effectively.

logical structure

The logical structure is clear, with paragraphs and ideas flowing well from one to the next, making the essay coherent and easy to follow.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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