Childcare is important. both parents should attend childcare courses. To what extand do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, attending
childcare
courses
has become a topic of heated debate.
Initially
, every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
with going to the
childcare
courses
contribute to creating their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
bright future. I
am strongly agree
Change the verb form
strongly agree
show examples
with
this
notion because
love
Correct article usage
the love
show examples
and care
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
given by both mother and father would rate their
children
's future position.
Firstly
, attention that
provided
Add a missing verb
is provided
show examples
equally by both genders is major and sophisticated responsibility.
Moreover
, engaging in
childcare
courses
deems
Correct article usage
a crusial
show examples
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
stage for
parents
who are starting a new life.
For instance
, it is
exquesitely
Correct your spelling
exquisitely
understood that
childcare
courses
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
and more developing around the
worldwide
Replace the word
world
show examples
such
as Cambridge schools. That's why well-qualified, well-natured people are growing up
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
country compared to others.
Secondly
,
parents
who miss out
essential
Change preposition
on essential
show examples
interactions with their kids might find it difficult to feel satisfied in life, regardless of massive professional success. They are even likely to experience feelings of loneliness and regret, especially when they get retired and have no healthy relationships with their family members,
this
issue can
also
couses
Correct your spelling
cause
serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
for their
children
. If teenagers do not
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
sufficient parental care and attention, they might easily be influenced by their peers and criminal groups.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
it causes smoking , using drugs ,
gambling
Correct word choice
and gambling
show examples
,
therefore
,
parents
are responsible for knowing
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where their
children
are and what they are doing. In conclusion, when the topic of
childcare
causes discussion, as a person of today , I am in favour of
parents
attending
childcare
courses
so that their
children
can find their own way.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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