when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

#someone #home #people #nurses #government #care

The

elderly

Correct quantifier usage

number of elderly

show examples

care

homes

number has increased drastically in the

last

decades.It is stated

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some people that the government should fund these buildings ,

whereas

others

empahasize

Correct your spelling

emphasise

that individuals should pay for

this

assesstaince

Correct your spelling

assistance

. I firmly opine that both parts should be included. to commence with, authorities have to build the required infrastructure for any community.

That is

to say, schools, railways,hospitals and

care

homes

as well

sholud

Correct your spelling

should

all be established by the control power. It is the

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

of the government to set up old age houses

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

they are considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

places where the elderly could

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

urgent treatment. So, it should be supplied with the

lattest

Correct your spelling

latest

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

to provide intensive acute

care

as well as

vital signs

managment

Correct your spelling

management

For example

, the elderly

care

homes

should have adequate

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

machines for bedridden people or folks who suffer from chronic ailments. These

prerequesties

Correct your spelling

prerequisites

are exorbitant and

individuls

Correct your spelling

individuals

can not afford the high cost of the expenditure.

Thus

, establishing retirement

plats

Correct your spelling

plans

show examples

should be in the governers' charge.

On the other hand

, Families should

participatre

Correct your spelling

participate

in funding the fitness

homes

for their parents

beacuse

Correct your spelling

because

these

homes

take a preponderant burden of their responsibilities.

In other words

, if these

homes

are not existed

Change to the active voice

do not exist

have not existed

show examples

Add an article

the family

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

will carry a heavy

sociall

Correct your spelling

social

and monetary duty to look after senior people.

For instance

, allocating a sum of money

for

Change preposition

show examples

these associations in order to give wages to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

well trained

Add a hyphen

well-trained

show examples

nurses cost

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

less than taking

care

of them at home.

Therefore

, paying a tax ,sharing some expenses or even

consider

Wrong verb form

considering

show examples

it as a paid service would be definitely a reasonable

soultion

Correct your spelling

solution

Otherwise

, leaving parents out of love,concern and

care

absoluetly

Correct your spelling

absolutely

not ethical.

Moreover

,nations can help

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

issue by raising awareness about the importance of these houses

Correct word choice

and

show examples

opening the door to charitable shares. In a nutshell, both authorities and community members should cooperate to give a

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

life standard to those who gave us not only birth

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

their time ,money and

unconditionl

Correct your spelling

unconditional

love .From my perspective,participating

Change preposition

show examples

both

parts

Correct your spelling

parties

show examples

in creating

semi-hospiltal

Correct your spelling

semi-hospital

homes

essentail

Correct your spelling

essential

action to hoist ancestors' complacency and

ourselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

pride as well.

Submitted by amalyanoo on Thu Jun 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

352 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In many countries, people are now living Lon than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true due to some factors that people tend to grow older these days. In most countries, people tend to live longer, while some individuals say that ageing population burdens the government, others opine that elderly people present in society play an important role. From my perspective, I believe the advantage of having an ageing population outweighs the demerits such that, there's the transfer of intergenerational knowledge, enhanced the cultural richness and brings forth wise community.
5.5
band
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?
Many festivals are currently in existence, and most of them are becoming outdated and meaningless. In my opinion, the degradation of traditional festivals is causing cultural disintegration, and both local people and the government must work together to put it into practice.
4.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a long-held conviction among psychologists which states that it is more beneficial for offspring to start mastering the second language at primary school rather than secondary school. I firmly believe that the benefits that the given claim offers will overwhelm the drawbacks.
6
band
Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many are of the view that students engaging in group studies at school is more important than them staying home to learn online. I agree with this statement because face-to-face interactions can improve studies and prevent any distractions.
8
band
you recently had your sanitary ware and taps replaced. You are unhappy with the job of contractor. Write a letter to the contractor for the same. In your letter • say what you are not satisfied with • say what you want the contractor to do • discuss time coordination of both parties for the repairing work
I am Martin Root. I live in Forest park and writing a letter to express my dissatisfaction regarding some work done by your workers related to sanitary ware and the replacement of taps at my house last week.

when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

In many countries, people are now living Lon than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.