The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

It is widely acknowledged that
prevention
is better than cure, so the government should divert
treatment
expenses to preventative measures. I firmly agree with
this
statement. The importance and efficiency of
prevention
for human well-being are undeniable, as shown by the cost-effectiveness of popular methods like vaccine immunization. Technological advancements allow pharmaceutical producers to scale up production and offer vaccines at affordable prices for the poor. Vaccines have shown their effectiveness against infectious diseases like polio and influenza by reducing
treatment
time, and severity of illness, and preventing long-term symptoms.
Consequently
, vaccinated patients are more likely to recover to their original
health
condition quickly, contributing to economic growth.
Additionally
, the national budget should be allocated to public campaigns that increase awareness about the importance of exercise and a healthy diet. These campaigns encourage the public to participate in outdoor exercises in local parks, preventing obesity and
health
issues related to sedentary lifestyles.
Furthermore
, the public can fully understand the impact and compare the nutritional content of fast food with nutritious meals.
For example
, a strict diet and suitable exercise regime can improve
health
, making people more energetic and alert.
As a result
, healthier populations can work more efficiently and increase productivity.
However
, there are valid arguments for upgrading
treatment
facilities and capacities. Even with effective
prevention
methods, some
health
problems are inevitable and require
treatment
.
For instance
, advanced treatments and drugs for cancer and genetic diseases are necessary and have improved survival rates.
Moreover
, a balanced healthcare system requires both
prevention
and
treatment
to handle any sudden outbreaks of infectious diseases on a national scale.
To conclude
, though the benefits of
prevention
are clear in terms of cost-effectiveness and
overall
public
health
improvement, it is equally important to maintain robust
treatment
facilities for unavoidable
health
issues.
Therefore
, government funding should prioritize preventative measures
while
also
ensuring adequate resources for
treatment
and medical advancements.
This
balanced approach will create a more sustainable and effective healthcare system.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive answer to the prompt. You effectively argue the importance of prevention over treatment and provide strong supporting points. To improve, ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next for even better coherence.
coherence cohesion
For cohesion, work on refining transitions between paragraphs to guide your reader smoothly through your arguments. This will further strengthen the logical progression of your ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively used relevant and specific examples, such as vaccines and public health campaigns, to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear and well-developed main points. The introduction and conclusion are strong and provide a clear framework for your argument.

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