IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
Happiness nowadays is the most thing that people hope to have. Some crow believes that people reach entertainment life by having enough money.
While
, others opine that idea and think it relies on other additional factors, in
this
 essay I will discuss both sides.
Firstly
, From my perspective, being a rich person can't make true happiness it's one of the most important things to be happy but it's not the only thing. Having money can't solve all life's ups and downs situations, the person can buy a comfortable car, or house, and may even have a servant to do the daily household
instead
 of him
this
 may make the day easier for him but not completely happy.
For example
, Am article was published
last
 week saying that 50% of the population that are rich and have money but their lives end up with heavy drinking or suicide and we can see that in born actors because they feel unsatisfied.
Secondly
, the delightful soul can't be precise in several words because everyone can see happiness in his sight, sick human sees health as the required destination,
while
 other see the presence of family and relative as the source of smiles and courage.
moreover
, a husband and a wife that had been married for decades and deprived of children after several unsuccessful tries in their opinion the smell of a child is the most enjoyable. In conclusion, happy life in my opinion is a feeling of satisfaction in every situation that humans face,
in contrast
, every other dilemma he will have
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be only a reason for his miserableness.
Submitted by yusif_salih on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: