IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THE MAPS ILLUSTRATE HOW ONE SEASIDE HOLIDAY RESORT CHANGED BETWEEN 1940 AND 1990.

THE MAPS ILLUSTRATE HOW ONE SEASIDE HOLIDAY RESORT CHANGED BETWEEN 1940 AND 1990.
The diagrams illustrate how one seaside
beach
Use synonyms
 holiday resort has changed since it was built in 1950.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the almost empty
beach
Use synonyms
 , except
woodland
Change preposition
for woodland
show examples
 and
beach
Use synonyms
huts
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 turned into a city on the
beach
Use synonyms
consistes
Correct your spelling
consisting
 of
hotel
Add an article
the hotel
a hotel
show examples
, surf school and gardens in later years.
According to
Linking Words
 the picture, in 1950, there were sand dunes around
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
beach
Use synonyms
huts
Use synonyms
 and a woodland to the right of the
beach
Use synonyms
huts
Use synonyms
 in that area. There was
also
Linking Words
track
Correct article usage
a track
show examples
, which goes to the centre of
Use synonyms
beach
Add an article
the beach
show examples
, behind the woodland. Looking at the map for 1970, it can be seen that the
huts
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
beach
Add an article
the beach
a beach
show examples
 were reconstructed as villas. Another noticeable change is that the woodland with the trees cut down was converted into a caravan park. By 1990 , sand dunes were changed
Change preposition
to
show examples
attractive landscaped gardens which give beauty
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , villas were transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 to increase the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of visitors.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 caravan park was turned into
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 park.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
show examples
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
 were
built
Correct article usage
the built
show examples
 surf schools and
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 pool in the
midle
Correct your spelling
middle
 of
resort
Add an article
the resort
a resort
show examples
 which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 for
visitors's
Remove the s
visitors'
show examples
 babies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words beach, huts with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: