IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays many families move overseas for job opportunities and take their children along with them. Some people think that this is beneficial for their children of these families, while others think that children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It becomes necessary for
families
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 to take
children
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 with them when they obtain well-paid employment opportunities abroad. It is said by some that the overseas environment can provide a better quality of life for
children
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;
however
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, others believe that
this
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also
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 has negative sides. I strongly believe that abroad provides significant benefits for
families
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 and
children
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, including different supporting programs. Some individuals believe that bringing
children
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 abroad provides numerous benefits, as
this
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 experience offers wide exposure to different cultures. When
children
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 enrol in foreign daycares and schools, they experience distinct backgrounds, which helps them to become open-minded individuals.
This
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 development
further
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 supports
children
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 in building strong communication skills and increasing their connection with a multicultural community. Opponents of
this
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 trend think that some
children
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 are less likely to cope with oversea environment. It is often noticed that
children
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 are not used to speaking and listening to other languages, foreign food and ambience.
Therefore
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,
children
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 feel isolated and lonely, which ultimately decreases their interest in living abroad. Eventually, they may have to cope with poor academic performance at school, leading to unsatisfactory academic results. In my view,
this
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 trend is highly positive because
children
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 get the opportunity to learn significant skills at a very early age. If
children
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 feel isolated and lonely,
families
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 and school educators can support them, as various programs are provided by community centres and schools to support international
families
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 socially and emotionally. In conclusion, taking
children
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 abroad has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, if appropriate efforts are made by parents and schools,
children
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 will be more likely to develop happier lives.
Also
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, foreign countries are highly beneficial for
children
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 to learn important skills at the beginning of their lives so that they can thrive in their bright future.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Your view is clear, but each side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Use one or two clear examples to support your ideas, such as school, language, or friends.
task response
Some ideas are good but a few are too general. Explain how and why more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Linking is mostly good, but some sentences can connect more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
A few points need more support before you move to the next idea.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your main ideas stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow overall.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Multicultural environment, Assimilation, Cognitive flexibility, Linguistic proficiency, Social integration
  • Alienation, Homesickness, Peer support, Academic transition, Bicultural identity
  • Adaptive strategies, Familial guidance, Psychological well-being, Socio-emotional development, Cultural intelligence
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