At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, some developing
countries
such
as Indonesia and India have more young adults rather than elderly people
. In my opinion, although
this
situation might bring some social problems, the benefits still outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
,Correct article usage
the increasingly
increasingly
youth population indicates Change the word
increasing
the
large Change the article
a
number of
workforce, which is Correct quantifier usage
apply
truely
important for Correct your spelling
truly
the
economic growth. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, various international corporation
will Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
the
factories in these Correct article usage
apply
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
due to
relatively cheap salaries, and this
can help the nation to earn more foreign currency. In addition
, the government can receive more tax revenue and using
it to develop Wrong verb form
use
wealfare
facilities Correct your spelling
welfare
such
as hospitals and academic establishments. Seconly
, more Correct your spelling
Secondly
youths
than elderly people
means that the community have less stress to take care the
individuals who have retired Change preposition
of the
compare
to advanced Wrong verb form
compared
countries
like Japan where
has serious elderly Correct word choice
which
people
care issues.
On the other hand
, this
situation also
caues
some negative problems. One major problem is that there are higher unemployment Correct your spelling
causes
cause
rate
and relatively lower Fix the agreement mistake
rates
salary
in these Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
countries
, since they have too much workforce, even if the person who guaduated
Correct your spelling
graduated
in
university is hard to find a good job position. Change preposition
from
Furthermore
, youths
tend to be appeals
by drugs, Change the verb form
be appealed
be appealing
night
clubs, Correct word choice
and night
thus
too many young individuals might increase the crime rate and make the
society becomes insecure.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, I believe these problem
can be solved by the government. Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
For instance
, they can encourage the youths
develop
Add the particle
to develop
Correct pronoun usage
their english
english
Change the capitalization
English
ability
and work oversee Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
expecially
the Correct your spelling
especially
countries
where is lack
of workforceCorrect article usage
a lack
,
because it is more likely to get higher salaries. Remove the comma
apply
Additionally
, once the goverment
received enough funds through taxes and residents' income taxes, they can develop their Correct your spelling
government
infrustructures
, including more CCTV and Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
employed
more Wrong verb form
employ
polices
.
Correct your spelling
policies
To sum up
, large
Change the article
a large
the large
number of
population Correct quantifier usage
apply
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
prons
and cons, but the bad points can be solved. Correct your spelling
pros
However
, the adventages
are difficult to replace, so I still believe more Correct your spelling
advantages
youths
than elderly people
is
good Correct subject-verb agreement
are
to
Change preposition
for
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.